Imagine

Imagine, if you will, that you are shopping in a big plaza. You go to the Nike outlet, maybe Big Dogs, and the Levi's store. Then you see a lot of people going into this new store. Its called "Awesome Things". Tons of folks are pouring in through the front doors and you decide to see what all the hubbub is about.

As you walk in, you are greeted by tiny clowns riding otters. They give you a bouquet of oysters and trot off. The walls are striped, the roof is polka-dotted, and the floor is covered in water. A hippie that smells like beef jerky ushers you and everyone else into a theater of bubbles and an opera tenor sings some New Orleans jazz.

Everyone is clapping and cheering, and even though you are entertained, all you can do is wonder what the heck is going on and contemplate those brownies your coworker gave you that morning.

That's what it would feel like to tackle the new book "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" without reading any of the previous 6.

Friday night was the Harry Potter midnight extravaganza. I was there. I got my copy (on audio CD). I 'read' it. It rocks; best of the whole series.

Lots of others were there too, and by 'others' I mean complete loonies of every kind. There were shut-ins, spacers, goths, nerds, spazoids, and just enough normies to equal them all out. It was a coudron of potter mirth that was way beyond any social standard.

From this unlikely gaggle of humans, only one guy I spoke to stuck out as truly 'odd'. I had asked him (because I was bored after waiting for 5 hrs) which potter book was his favorite so far; a standard ice-breaker for the night.

He told me he had not read any of them, but thought he would get into it because of all the attention and mania surrounding the launch. I couldn't quite understand his logic, but the previous books did an ok job of providing enough backstory to be autonomous.

After finishing it, I worry about his sanity. The Hallows draws so much from all of the previous stories, that I can't imagine anyone understanding what the heck is going on. I'm so very glad I caught up these last few weeks.

I hope all of you have too, and don't second-guess those brownies.

-Mike

sample

London was just right: Chilly in the shade and toasty in the sun. You just wanted to go out and lay in the grass. In comparison to the Florida heat, it was awesome, except that there is barely any air conditioning anywhere. After the first night without A/C or proper airflow in our hostel room, we wanted to open the window oh-so-badly.For some reason we could not. Someone had taken the knobs off of the window locks. I didnt think it was quite fair because all the other rooms above us had their large, double-door windows open and were experiencing cool air of the summer night. Why couldn't we?"Pot smokers.""What?", I said to the girl at the check-in counter. She was gothy and cute, but pleasant."Yeah, we had way too many complaints about people going out on the balcony and smoking out and being loud, so management had to lock the windows.""Crap, that sucks... Do you think I can switch to another room that can get some breeze? We are waking up soaked and dehydrated."With a smile, she checked, but no luck. Defeated, I went back up to the room and told the others what the deal was.We had 4 roomies: 2 Cali girls that were leaving that evening anyway, and a completely hot Australian woman and her (maybe gay) guy friend. They were nice and talkative, but (like us) were pissed off about the window situation. I had to think of something... And I did.Later on, I got out my flashlight and peered into the hole where the lock was. I could see the gear teeth for the missing latch attached to the bolt. With MacGyver precision, I whipped out a credit card and a safety pin, bent it into the shape I thought I needed, and picked the top and bottom window locks so fast it surprised even me.*snap!* The windows flew open and I felt the cool breeze of triumph smack me in the face. It was glorious.About an hour later, our Australian roomies returned. It was the best part of the whole trip:"Hey, you got the windows open! How did you do that?"I smiled widely and looked towards Colby with some bravado. Id let her say it."He picked the locks. Dont tell anyone."Everybody laughed. Still laughing, the guy said:"Leave it to the Americans to pick a window lock."Right then I felt like a patriot. For a brief moment, I had lived up to the last good reputation of what Americans are all about. Yes, American ingenuity is still alive, and we all slept a little better that night because of it.